Mixed emotions
by Bollyknickers92
Summary: Alex wants to be with Molly. But she wants Gene too. These 'mixed emotions' are confusing her. See how she deals with them...  PLEASE REVIEW! xxx
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1~ longing for her little girl.

**I am in the middle of writing a fun & flirty story about Gene + Alex ("Stolen kisses and interruptions") but wanted to write another one where their relationship has more depth. It will still be the same Gene + Alex (fun and amusing), but will hopefully also tackle the mixed emotions Alex feels as she experiences deeper feelings for Gene, yet wants to be with her daughter too.  
I hope you like it! Reviews would be much appreciated!  
Disclaimer: I don't own Ashes to Ashes! **

_Alex was exhausted. She could hear the baby crying, but she was yet to meet it. Pete was sat down next to her; his face flushed with the drama and excitement of the past few hours. His floppy brown hair hung low over his bright blue eyes, which shone with happiness and delight; his concerns of fatherhood had not yet polluted his mind. Alex reached for Pete and he held her dainty hand in his rough, manly ones. She was excited but anxious to meet her daughter. It felt strange that the child she had been longing for, for so long, was finally here. She had felt prepared for this moment, but soon realized that once you became a mother, nothing was organized- everything was chaotic. And then suddenly, a chubby little baby was placed carefully in her arms; dressed in pink. She was asleep and cuddled up against her mother. For a moment, Alex's fatigue left her and she rejoiced in this new life that she had created. But then Pete took the baby away and Alex fell asleep, not being able to fight her drowsy state anymore._

Alex had been calling out in her sleep; dreaming of the day she'd given birth to Molly; remembering the pain of childbirth but also the feeling of when she'd seen her daughter for the first time. However, a loud knocking at the door awoke her from this sleeping state. She rolled out of bed, landing in a heap on the floor; mornings were not her favourite time of day to say the least. She stumbled across the room, as if in a trance. Once Alex could get her hands on some coffee she knew she'd feel a bit more alert. Slowly opening the door, she raised an eyebrow, without saying anything, at the man who was stood there.

It was Gene. He'd come round to take her to work, knowing that she'd been in a terrible state the night before. He hadn't wanted to leave her alone; afraid of what she might do. However, after arguing for over an hour with her he had given up- once Alex Drake set her mind on something you couldn't change it. Gene stared at her leaning against the doorframe. She was wearing a black shirt (which he was sure was his own) that skimmed the top of her thighs- a quick movement would expose everything. Her curly brown hair was stuck up everywhere; which to Gene looked incredibly sexy. Her brown eyes were wider than usual, which he knew was probably down to the amount of wine she'd put away the previous night. However, where they were usually shinning with the excitement of a plan or new piece of information, they were now empty and sad. Alex looked so dejected and helpless and it unnerved Gene. She didn't even try and cover up when she'd realized who it was at the door.

"I'm not coming into work today Gene. I'm not up for it." Alex muttered, already closing the door on him.

"Oh no you don't Bolly! I wanna know what's goin' on!"

Alex sighed and didn't attempt to fight back or even shoot a witty comment at him. It was like she'd given up on everything.

"Look, it's Molly's birthday today. I just want to be alone, Gene."

Gene raised his eyebrow; unconvinced. He didn't know an awful lot about women- they confused him mostly. But he knew one thing; when a woman says she wants to be alone, she wants no such thing. Thinking about this, he strode past Alex and sank down onto her sofa; showing her that he wasn't going anywhere. She walked past him, ignoring his presence. She then took a shower in the hope that it would make her feel even a little bit better.

Once she was ready, Alex slumped down on to the sofa next to Gene. He glanced at her sideways, taking in the leggings and t-shirt she had shoved on and the wet hair that she'd thrust into a ponytail. Her face was ghostly white and her eyes were glazed over with tears. As he took her hand in his, tears began to spill from her eyes. Gene had never seen Alex like this before- she had never let him. She looked so desperate sitting there that for once he was lost for words. He pulled her close to him, so that she could smell the cigarette smoke on his coat and the whiskey on his breath. In that moment, she realized that she wasn't alone; _he held her dainty hand in his rough, manly ones. _Shaking away the memory of Pete doing to her what Gene was doing now; Alex lifted her head and looked straight into his promising, grey eyes. He wasn't Pete. He wasn't going to leave her. He was her rock, her lion. He would protect her.

**Like I said, hope you liked it! I realize there isn't an awful lot of Galex in this, but I promise there will be more in the next chapter, so stay tuned!**

**Reviews please :D xxx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hope you all like it! I have had people subscribing to it, but not many reviews **

**Please review! I LOVE reviews :D**

**Disclaimer- I do not own ashes to ashes…. **

_Alex felt strangely relaxed and more at home that she had felt in months. There was something about that stubbornly arrogant man, Gene Hunt, which made her melt when she was close to him. And right now she was very close indeed. So close that she could feel his breath on her cheek. They were moving closer towards each other now; waiting for the inevitable to happen._

"_MUM!" Molly's voice echoed around the dark forest. Alex wondered why she was even in a forest. It seemed a bit strange. And why was Molly here?_

"_Don't leave me mum, please! Don't leave me for him!" Molly cried. Alex looked up at Molly; her face was blurred and out of focus, like she was getting further away. She realized that she wasn't with Gene anymore either, but stood in the middle of them- torn between the two._

"_But I make you happy, Bolly.' Gene whispered._

Alex woke with a start; she'd fallen asleep against Gene. The dream had scared her and brought all of her fears and doubts to the surface. But she refused to choose him over her own daughter. Before she could change her mind, she pushed herself away from the warmth of his body and told him to leave. She watched as his face fell; he was suddenly so confused. She'd seemed content enough to fall asleep on him and he didn't know what had changed.

"Bolls? What's wrong?"

"Get out! Out, out, out!" She sobbed, tears streaming down her face.

"Bloody women…" muttered Gene; hurt at her sudden outburst. He left her in the flat, not wanting to be around her. He'd been ready to open up to her, to help her, but she'd just pushed him away. This was why he hated relationships. He much preferred the relationship he had with whiskey; it was always there for him- ever reliable.

It had broken Alex's heart to throw him out like that. But she couldn't have him getting any closer to her than he already was. She couldn't have a relationship with someone, knowing that it could end at any given point. She couldn't do that to him. She knew how hurt he'd be if one day she just wasn't there anymore. She knew just what she needed now though: to get pissed.

Gene was sat in the corner of Luigi's, downing his 3rd whiskey. He was so angry with her. Why had she acted like that? He'd let his guard down and had shown her the real him. How could one crazy and irritating woman do this to him? 'Because she's intelligent, witty and beautiful too' he thought to himself.

At that moment, Alex entered the restaurant. She was wearing an incredibly tight and short black dress, which lengthened her already long legs. Her soft, brown curls hung delicately round her face. Her lips were the brightest red and her eyes the darkest brown. She was beautiful. He stood up to greet her, willing to accept her apology. Normally he'd never forgive a woman after what she'd just done, but she'd been in a terrible state recently and had been irrational and crazy. But for once, he didn't care.

However, as he waited for her to turn to him, she didn't. She walked straight on past- ignoring his presence. He grabbed her wrist, twisting her round to face him. Her lips were inches away from his. It was now or never. He made the move; she needed to know how he felt. Their lips met and she didn't pull away, only moved closer towards him. Suddenly, only they existed. The two of them in a world where there was a thin line between what was real and what might not be. Gene put his hands around Alex's waist, steadying her against him. There were sparks between them; he'd never experienced anything like it before. She smelt of cherry shampoo and he could taste the wine on her breath. But then she was pulling away from him. Using all the strength she could summon. She couldn't fall for him. She needed to get back to molly. _Molly… _Her daughters face formed in Alex's mind, giving her the final bit of vigor she needed in order to get away from him.

"I'm sorry Gene. I can't. I just can't."

She walked away from him without looking him in the eye. She felt so guilty and didn't want to break his heart. She loved him. And she had done ever since that first day. She loved the banter between them and she'd grown to love life here. That's what worried her. Would she be able to leave him when the time came? How could she love somebody she wasn't even sure was real?

**Ooh so will Alex be able to stay away from Gene?**

**Find out soon!**

**Reviews please! xxx**


	3. Chapter 3

It was 5am by the time Alex got home. She fumbled with her key in the lock and as she entered the flat, she noticed someone sitting on her sofa. He turned to look at her and was taken aback by what he saw.

Her hair was tangled and plastered against her face, her make-up was smudged, her dress ripped and there was a deep cut on her knee.

"Where the bloody hell have you been? You look like a hooker! And not in a good way Bolly!" It was Gene; he'd waited for her all night.

"What are you doing Guv? How did you get in?" Alex snapped, snatching the bottle of wine off him and gulping some down.

"Luigi gave me the spare key. I was worried about you Alex". There was something about his voice; it sounded softer; gentler than usual and he was worried.

"There's nothing for you to worry about. I told you! I'm fine! Just leave me alone!" She slurred her words and had clearly been drinking all night. He pushed himself off the sofa and seized the wine from her; she'd had enough. Alex thought about grabbing it back, of arguing with him **again**, but she was tired. Oh so tired. She slid down onto the floor of her flat, landing in a heap and began to sob. She was falling apart. She was trying to fight but she couldn't fight without her rock, her lion… her constant.

Gene sat down next to her and gathered her up in his arms. She nuzzled into him, feeling safe for the first time in weeks. He stroked her hair with his free hand, soothing her and comforting her. They sat like that for a while. Just there, together, content with each other.

After what seemed like years, Gene pulled Alex to her feet and whispered into her ear, "We need to get you into bed Bolls". He put a supportive arm around her waist and struggled with her into the bedroom, placing her down gently onto the bed. She began to take off her dress, trying to pull it over her head, but struggling due to a mix of tiredness and drink. Gene began to help her, lifting it carefully off, so that she was stood there only in her lacey underwear. He had dreamt of this moment over and over, for so long, but hadn't imagined it to be like this. Here he was helping her; she was so vulnerable. Of course he wouldn't take advantage when she was like this, but he couldn't help admiring her body as he wrapped her in a white shirt he'd found strewn on the bed. He'd always imagined **undoing** the buttons- not doing them up.

Next, he threw back the duvet and lifted her into the safety of her own bed and kissed her lightly on the forehead.

'G'night Bolly' he whispered.

'Sleep with me Gene, please. Don't' leave me on my own…'

He turned around and looked at her pleading face. She needed him now in a way she'd never needed him before. He wanted to be there for her too. He sighed as he tiptoed around the room, throwing back the covers and sliding in next to her. She cuddled up to him, resting her head on his chest and he held her in his arms as she began to drift off.

"I love you, Gene." The words escaped from Alex's lips as she sank into a deep sleep. It was exactly what Gene needed to hear. She did want him, but for some reason she'd been resisting. 'I've still got it' Gene thought to himself as he snuggled down with Alex, a smirk spreading across his face. He felt calm and at ease for the first time in as long as he could remember.


	4. Chapter 4

**I really hope you like this! Haven't had many reviews but would love them as I would like to know where YOU want this story to go and if you're enjoying it…? Thanks **** Oh and it'll get a bit steamier over the next couple of chapters! ;] xx**

Alex stirred as sunlight flooded through the curtains, bouncing off the walls of her bedroom. She lay there for a few seconds, her head pounding with a reminder of how much she'd had to drink the previous night. She felt totally relaxed and didn't realise why for a few minutes, until Gene stirred next to her. Suddenly she became aware of his hand around her waist and her head on his chest. How hadn't she realised she was lying practically on top of him? It was strange; she felt like she was meant to be there- like it was destiny. She felt so calm and comfortable. She couldn't remember much from last night, but there was a crucial moment that was replaying in her mind: Gene undressing her. 'Oh my God' Alex thought to herself. 'Did I sleep with him?'

Her mind began whirring: trying to piece together the events of the previous night. She remembered kissing Gene, their bodies bursting with passion and she also regrettably remembered having to pull away from him and then rushing off to dance the night away and drink until she passed out. After that she could only remember Gene helping her out of her clothes and the rest was a blur. All she knew now was that she was wearing very little clothes and was sleeping next to Gene. Oh and her leg burned with pain too; but she had no idea why.

Gene was snoring and began to mutter in his sleep. Alex looked at him for a while; he was sweet when asleep. She lay in bed for a while, content at watching him- it wasn't like he'd know, when suddenly his mutterings became more extinguished 'Alex…' he whispered, the words barely audible, but clear enough for Alex to realise what he was saying. She couldn't believe it! He was dreaming about her!

Suddenly the phone rang, causing Alex to jump and Gene to wake up.

"Hello?" whispered Alex, her voice hoarse from the excessive drinking binge she'd believed to be a good idea only a few hours ago…

"Boss… I mean Ma'am? It's Chris… We were wondering if you were coming in today?" he stuttered, nervous to be calling her at home.

Alex glanced at her alarm clock on the night stand. "Shit! Yes I'll be in as quick as I can Chris!"  
"Um, Ma'am… the Guv ain't here yet either we were wondering if you…"  
Alex cut him off. "If I what Chris? Why would I know where he is? He's not with me!" and with that she hung up.

"Smooth Bollyknickers. Ashamed of me are you?" Gene whispered, his voice even more sexy when he was next to her in bed.

"Ashamed? There's nothing to be ashamed of Gene! Nothing happened…" She hoped that the last bit was true. The last thing she needed was Gene mocking her about how drunk and easy she'd been.

"Yet. Nothings happened yet, Lady Bolls…" Gene teased, turning onto his side and attempting to get out of bed.

"And it never will do Guv! You don't need your head to get any bigger! But can't we stay here for a bit today? I don't want to face everyone feeling this rough…!"

Gene thought about it for a moment. Sure, leaving the station to the likes of Ray and Chris would mean extra work tomorrow. But it was definitely worth it for a day of Alex's company. Especially if they were spending it in bed (as he hoped they would be!)

**Really hope you liked it! There will be more Galex soon as promised!**

**REVIEWS PLEASE! 3**

**xxxxx**


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